Losing the Thread

Three Chickens Minus One

2011-06-05T15:19:00.006+01:00

I kind of lost heart blogging about our lovely chickens after we lost Rosie.

This is what I put on Facebook after she died - it took me a week before I could bring myself to post a note about it on there - and I use FB nearly every day!

Sadly, last week one of our three ladies died.

We noticed on Sunday that Rosie wasn't as active as usual, and was spending a lot of time with her feathers fluffed out looking grumpy, but she still came running when one of us came into the garden and squabbled with the others for her share of treats.

On Tuesday evening, Seán said he was worried about her, because she'd not been scratching and eating bugs and hadn't been very active at all, though that might have been because it was horrible and wet that day, and the other girls didn't venture far from the shelter of the run and the greenhouse.

When I got home from work on Wednesday, I noticed milky-looking poo near where she was standing, and the tips of her comb were purplish. She also had a temperature. We rang the vet that afternoon, but couldn't get an appointment before Friday.

Seán said he'd kept an eye on her on Thursday, and she'd seemed a little better, eating and squabbling with the others for pomegranate seeds. She did go to bed early, I checked on her to see if she was alright. She clucked softly at me as I disturbed her to check her temperature, but didn't move. We just hoped she'd hang on till morning to see the vet.

When Seán went to open the house up and let them out on Friday morning, we found she'd died during the night.

We've noticed a few changes since we lost her - there's less mess in the chicken house, we're still getting two eggs a day, so we reckon she wasn't well when we got her, we just hadn't picked up on it. She'd laid at least one egg since we brought them home, and we suspect the rubbery anomalies we found were hers. One of those probably ruptured inside and caused an infection. Being new to chicken keeping, we didn't know what to look out for.

Rosie is buried in one of her favourite scratching spots under a birch sapling. At least we made her last few weeks happy ones. Our garden must have seemed like chicken heaven after a year in a battery farm.

Jenny and Carmen are still with us, happily making a mess of the vegetable patch, running up to the gate whenever they hear the back door opening to see if we're bringing them treats. They don't mind the wet (they're either hardy Lancashire hens, or they're a bit thick!) They're favourite treats are raisins, sweetcorn and other soft fruits.

This photo is Jenny peering at me through the gate with Carmen behind her. They weren't at all keen on all the snow and ice we had in the winter, during the worst of it, we had to keep checking to make sure their water hadn't frozen up.

They've got through that, and now they're enjoying the abundance of fresh new leaves and garden bugs that summer has brought!

Chickens! Part 4

2010-09-09T08:50:00.008+01:00

Our First Eggs!

Last Wednesday, I found our first "egg" in the henhouse. It didn't really look like an egg. It didn't have a shell, but was a soft, rubbery, vaguely ovoid mass that had something that looked like a bit of scrumpled up paper attached to it. Yuck!

I thought that maybe the girls weren't taking the grit (oyster shell) that I'd put out in a separate container for them, and this might be why they weren't laying - and would explain the shell-less oddity. On Friday, I decided to grind up the oyster shell into smaller bits. What I'd been sold initially wasn't crushed oystershell - it wasn't a fine powder, but fairly small pieces of shell. I wondered if maybe the chickens didn't recognise it in that form. It was quite difficult to grind it up with the mortar and pestle, so I didn't quite get the fine powder I was after, but at least it was small enough to mix with the feed.

Saturday was the first day they had the grit mixed in with the feed

Saturday 4th September was when we got our first proper egg!

I went to check on the hens at around half past eleven, and noticed that Jenny wasn't out and about with the rest of the girls. I found her in the house, on the nest box, so I opened up the side to see if she was okay, and there she was, trying to incubate her egg. She got up and walked off when I opened the side of the house, so I picked up the egg. It was smooth and still warm.

It seemed quite small compared to the eggs we'd been buying, so I thought I'd get a photo of Jenny's first free-range egg and a bought one to compare the two. The egg with the speckledy shell is the bought one. As you'll see, it's really not that much smaller than a bought "medium" egg.

Since then, we've had one egg a day from our ladies, though one of them produced another shell-less oddity yesterday, so maybe that's a sign that one of the others coming back into lay. I do hope so.

I ate one of our own eggs the day before yesterday. I cooked a bought one, and one of our own to compare them. Ours had a deeper yellow yolk and a richer flavour than the bought one. Wow!

Here's to lots more eggies from our three ladies.

I'm so glad we've done this. Rescuing ex-battery hens was absolutely the right thing for us.

Chickens! Part 3

2010-08-30T15:38:00.005+01:00

We now have free-ranging foraging chickens who are having a great time scratching up our garden!

We let them out for the first time on Friday afternoon. Jenny and Carmen wasted no time getting out of the run - they'd been hovering near the door whenever we go near it for a couple of days by then. I think they were just waiting to be let out.

They've scratched out a couple of dustbathing spots as well as scratching around looking for bugs and things. Jenny found a worm yesterday - had no idea what to do with it though. She pecked at it a few times, then lost interest in its squirming and ambled off. Rosie wandered over to see what Jenny had found, pecked at the worm a few times and then went "scoff" and ate it in one. They've not done a lot of damage - knocked over a couple of the evening primrose plants so they can get at the tender leaves near the tops, but they were in danger of taking over the garden anyway to be honest. They rather like dandelions and linseed as well.

They're still not keen on being handled, and wary of us if we get close. We're trying to build up their trust by taking out treats for them like sweetcorn, raisins or mixed seeds and sitting close by hoping they'll come and investigate and maybe peck a little out of our hands. Jenny got quite close this afternoon, till Rosie pushed her out of the way (she's a big bully that one) but Rosie wasn't interested herself, so I scattered the treats near them, and hopefully, they'll build up an association of us sitting down near them with having treats.

They do like coming to the garden gate to see what's happening in the rest of the garden. I often see Rosie looking through the slats as I'm busy in the kitchen. All three of them come over occasionally to have a nosy. I left some food there for the this morning.

They're quite happy wandering round the garden, and know that there's food and water back in their run whenever they want it - though I've seen Rosie chase the other two away from it quite frequently. That's why I scatter plenty round the garden for the others to find - although they often sneak back to the run when Rosie isn't looking. They head back toward the run as it starts to go dark, though last night because the weather was fine, it didn't start to get dark till quite late, and I was beginning to wonder if they'd need rounding up. Fortunately, by 8pm, they were all in the run, so Seán closed it up. By 9pm, they were settling down to roost, so I closed the door of the house and took out the leftover mash and water.

We still haven't had any eggs, and I'm a bit worried as one of them (don't know which one though) seems to be doing runny poos - it looks like a blob of caramel topped with white rather than a small lump of charcoal topped with white. I'm hoping it's just down to the change of diet now that they're foraging - maybe she just ate something that disagreed with her. I'm keeping an eye on them in case it is more serious. I just wish they'd poo more on the beds and not on the paths :o)

All in all, our ladies are settling in well, and our free-range adventure is working out.

Chickens! Part 2

2010-08-30T15:28:00.004+01:00

Our three ladies are safely home and hiding from the rain in their cosy house.

Seán's dad was brilliant, driving me all the way up to Rising Bridge to get them, with a stop-off at Eureka for feed. We got a £3 off voucher to spend on a 20kg bag of feed - so together with grit, it came to slightly less than a tenner. A 20kg bag should last nearly 2 months - better value than I expected.

We brought them home in a sturdy cardboard box with plenty of ventilation (letterbox shaped holes). The littlest of them (Jenny) tried to make a run for it as we put her in, and was clearly up for an escape attempt again once we got them home.

They're not so sad-looking as I thought they'd be. We weren't expecting them to be as well-feathered as they are. They only have a couple of bald patches, and were very alert too.

We got them all in the run safely, with food and water out, and a handful of oyster shell - and a head of broccoli tied to the roof for them to peck at.

Rosie is the biggest, and seems to be quite bold and nosy
Carmen has a bent over comb
Jenny is the smallest - and goes like greased lightning

We've only had them a few hours, but their personalities are already becoming distinct.

They've braved the outdoors a few times and made a dash to the sheltered bit of the run where the food and water are, but go back in and hide whenever we go and check on them.

I got a few photos of them too

Chickens!

2010-08-30T15:22:00.002+01:00

This is something new for me - I've had indoor pets before, but not outdoor pets. I've always wanted to have chickens, but thought we'd not be allowed to because of rules about keeping livestock.

However, chickens can be kept as pets, if you're not breeding them to sell or selling the eggs, so we looked into how to go about it.

It seems to be becoming quite popular at the moment - I have a few friends who already keep chickens, and a couple more who are starting out at the same time as us.

It all looked very expensive - chicken houses seemed very pricey and getting birds from a breeder was quite expensive too; they didn't seem to want to sell less than 4.

Then we heard about the British Hen Welfare Trust, who rescue ex-battery chickens once they've come to the end of their "commercial life span". They're still quite young, but they've been in intensive egg production all their lives and are deemed to be past their best, so off they go to the slaughterhouse - destined to be pet food. The rescue teams come in before the people from the slaughterhouse come to clear out the shed and buy as many as they can take away.

Ex-battery chickens still have a lot to give - they're still young, they recover, refeather and get used to their new home and family quickly. They're bred for docility, and become tame, even affectionate to their new owners - all this and eggs too!

We decided to adopt 3 rescued hens, and I decided to keep a diary of how we got on. Dave Snape gave me the idea, as he said adopting rescued hens was one of the hardest ways of starting out, because of the extra TLC they need when they first come home.

Next step was to make everything ready.

We decided to build our own chicken house and run as bought ones were expensive, and not very well made. Seán knew he'd be able to build one of far better quality for rather less than the likes of Pets at Home were selling them for. We went for a traditional "toblerone" shape - you can see from the photo below what it looks like. Seán had to build it between showers on our patio

Next was to prepare the location - dismantling the broken cold-frame, moving flagstones, and then carrying the finished chicken house to its proper place - it's heavy!

Seán had left a skirt of the mesh from the run overlapping the base of the run so that it could be dug into the ground or layed under paving slabs to prevent foxes digging under and into the run. Paving slabs are now all around the house and run, except on one side, where it's flush against the greenhouse wall.

We bought food and drink dispensers from Pets at Home and checked out their range of foods and grit etc. They didn't seem to do a dry mash food - just pellets and mixed corn. we've been told that ex-battery hens have been used to a diet of dry mash all their lives, and don't usually recognise pellets as food straightaway. They need to be weaned onto the pellets. We've been given other good tips, like hanging a head of cabbage or corn cob in their run for them to peck at - especially good for distracting them from pecking at each other excessively as they establish a hierarchy.

We still need to enclose the garden securely to keep them safe once they're able to come out of the run and forage round the garden, but we've got till the end of next week to get that done. It just needs a good gate to keep them in the garden and discourage foxes. Once we knew the house and run would be ready, we contacted the Hens Welfare Trust and got in touch with our local co-ordinator. We've arranged to collect our three chickies as soon as we come back from Silverdale. We've arranged a lift up to Haslingden to pick them up, but need something to bring them home in. We have a cat carrier, but that won't be big enough for all three, so we'll need a cardboard carrier or two as well.

Of course we also had to decide on names for our ladies. I really like old-fashioned names and had a big long list
Rosie (from "Rosie's Walk"
Daisy
Poppy
Penny (Henny-Penny from "Chicken Licken")
Daphne
Eggwina
(hen)Rietta
Brenda
Mavis
Rita
Edie
Deirdre
Myrtle

But I thought it would be nice if Rowan and Phoebe each chose a name as well.
Rowan liked Jenny
Phoebe wanted to call one Carmen

So our ladies are going to be Rosie, Jenny and Carmen (otherwise, I think it was going to be Rosie, Daphne and Rita)

Part 2 coming soon, once we have our chickens - they might look a bit sad and pathetic when they first arrive, but you'll hopefully get to see how they blossom

Where did the time go?

2010-05-18T19:14:00.003+01:00

It's more than a year since I posted on here. Not that anyone would have missed me. You're all far too busy to notice that Lily the Pink of Losing the Thread has been silent for 14 months.

And the reason is that I've been far too busy to have time to organise my thoughts into the semi-coherent ramblings you're all used to. Every time something important has happened, or I've seen something that's really got my goat I've thought, "Ooh, must blog about this!" real life has got in the way.

I'd love to know, what's it like to be bored?

I've had my fingers dipped in soooo many pies, bellydancing (Yum!), work, various protest things, Circus Jam (now that's one TASTY pie!), family, moots and stuff! It just never ends.

I couldn't get my teeth into blogging about the political arguments going over the Election, various adverts that really pissed me off, stuff at work that's been bananas as usual or stuff that's gone on in my family because I've been too busy doing it.

People say "I used to have a life before some silly sod persuaded me to join Facebook". Well, all I can say is that I've done so much more mad shit since I joined Facebook than I ever would have thought possible!

Subversive Spaces at the Whitworth Gallery

2009-03-23T18:19:00.002Z

Seán and I visited the exhibition on a rare day off without kids (It was Purim, so the school I work at was closed). It was excellent, thought-provoking and absolutely fascinating.

I wasn't so sure about all the stuff relating to explorations of hysteria - but I could definitely understand the work of the artists relating to enclosed private spaces. These are supposed to be our comfort zones, the protected spaces where we feel safe. For anyone who has experienced abuse or violence within the home or felt besieged by hooligans chucking eggs and insults at your windows, those spaces are not the haven we feel they ought to be.

I also found the explorations of "unheimlichkeit" fascinating. It's the feeling of the uncanny, of suddenly encountering something odd, out of place and unexpected in a familiar and comforting setting, capturing the shiver-down-the-spine moment or the feeling of deja vu, the "glitch in the matrix" that there's something not right here.

Another thing that caught my eye was the work relating to the "renovation" of Paris, and the destruction of the old Les Halles marketplace to make way for the Georges Pompidou Centre. The situationists, surrealists and flaneurs of the time felt keenly that this was part of the city's repression of working class spaces under the guise of beautification. The parallels between this and the "gentrification" of our own most beloved Northern Quarter hit me instantly. Again, it's the repression, the squeezing out of the underclass by the bourgeois.

I also love, love, love the short films of Francis Alÿs. He views walking, strolling aimlessly, as a resistance to the "speed culture" of our modern world. His film of himself (view it here) walking along drumming on railings, streetlights and parked cars (running off when he set off an alarm) filled me with a childlike glee. I wanna do that. Seriously - I want to do a percussive derive around Manchester. I want to know what a streetlight sounds like, I want to beat out a rhythm on a litter bin and the bars in front of shop windows. I am so inspired by this guy!

If you've not been to see this exhibition - go. You must, and then come join me on a percussive dérive.

Love and sparkles
Sara

In Honour of Bettie Page

2008-12-12T08:45:00.007Z

Bettie Page, possibly the last great icon of the 1950s has passed on following a heart attack last week.

Her legacy will live on for a long long time to come. Cheesecake Pin-up and Fetish Queen, she developed a cult following.

Her agent Mark Roesler said that "she captured the imagination of a generation of men and women with her free spirit and unabashed sensuality." For many, she was the embodiment of beauty. She had a distinctive style all her own that many admired and emulated - and still do!

After giving up modelling, she became reclusive, a born-again Christian and worked full time for an evangelical minister. On resurfacing in the 1990s, she never allowed herself to be photographed. She preferred that people remember her as she was. She never felt any shame in being photographed nude - she said that "God approves of nudity. Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, they were as naked as jaybirds"

Bettie Page is one of my cultural heroes. She survived a turbulent childhood and never lost her inner beauty and innocence. I salute you.

Rest in Peace.

Public lack of Conveniences

2008-11-10T08:52:00.012Z

It took us two hours to get home from Bolton on Saturday night. It's not like we were travelling particularly late, but it shouldn't have taken that long to get home.

We caught one bus from Crompton Way into the centre of Bolton so we'd be able to get a 95 bus home (it drops us off much closer than the 524). If we'd had a car, the problem we faced would not have arisen as we'd have been home in 15 minutes.

We got to the bus station with 5 minutes to spare before the 95 was due in. I needed to go to the toilet. I know it's not a polite thing to talk about, and perhaps that's one reason why provision of public conveniences has fallen by the wayside. The bus station toilets were closed by this time, and the next nearest (a horrible huge cold metal cubicle thing with a locking sliding door you have to pay an extortionate amount to get in was too far to walk to and get back before the bus arrived.

I thought I'd be able to hang on till we got home. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how bumpy that route was, with all those useless bloody speed-bumps. It got worse and worse, and I was in agony from the effort of holding it in and feeling nauseous from the jolting. Our driver was doing the best he could to make the journey as smooth as he could (it was the same driver we'd had on the way into Bolton), but we'd not even got as far as Little Lever before I had to give in.

We then had to walk the rest of the way home - it was that or wait an hour in the rain and the cold for the next bus.

Now, if Bolton Council would spring for toilet refurbishment (and make a proper job of it this time) and actually employ someone as a toilet attendant we'd have been a lot better off. This isn't the first time we've been caught short in the centre of Bolton on a long journey home - last time it was one of the children. You have small children, and you quickly learn the location of every public loo anywhere you visit regularly. Alas, that only works in daytime, as Bolton's public conveniences are only for the convenience of daytime travellers it seems.

I know it's scary using public loos in the evening - they get used by undesirables, junkies, alcies, and the like, and by people who prey on the vulnerable. However, we've got CCTV now, so we should all feel so much safer (yeah right) using public spaces in the evening. After all, the guy who mugs us is going to get caught on grainy video footage and if they manage to get a positive ID, he'll get a slap on the wrist and a couple hundred hours community service.

No, CCTV monitoring isn't the answer. What we need is people. And I don't mind having to pay a few pence to use public conveniences - the ones at Shudehill Interchange and Piccadilly Railway Station are quite pleasant to use, and only cost about 30p. The fact that you have to go through the pay and turnstile thing puts off casual vandals, and if there's someone around keeping an eye on things that you can yell to for help as well as the ubiquitous CCTV cameras that watch all and see nowt, that'd help. Although you'd need a change machine as it's really annoying to be desperate for the loo but unable to get in as you don't have the right change. I liked European public loos that have someone on duty all the time, actually sitting there keeping an eye on things - you pay them on your way out. What I didn't like was the fact that the money they are paid by the customers either supplements the tiny wages they get for being there, or is their only income for being there.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - society is seriously fucked up when the people who do real and necessary work get paid pennies while useless people like company execs and footballers (Footballers - people who kick a ball around for fuck's sake) get paid millions every week. It's a staggering amount of money that I just can't imagine. And for doing nothing important. It's obscene what those buggers get paid, when there are families on the edge of starvation and a third of children in this country are living in poverty.

We come back to the issue of public conveniences. We are the underclass, society is not built for our convenience. it is built for the convenience of cars and people with cars, for people with a "disposable income" - literally, money they can throw away. Hundreds of pounds on a really cool gadget, a new pair of boots, a third holiday this year. They've already spent hundreds on repairing the car, paying insurance, road tax and fuel - Gods forbid they should ever suffer the inconvenience of not having the car. They'd REALLY find out what inconvenience is all about then.

A Moment of Beauty

2008-10-24T08:52:00.008+01:00

I've been inspired by a visit to another blog, "...follow the yellow brick road", winner of Best New Blog at the Manchester Blog Awards on Wednesday night. I'm not jealous, not in the least and not sulking at all for not being nominated for anything - there are after all far more deserving and worthwhile blogs than my random dèrives around an eclectic range of topics. The author describes a charming little family of sparrows in the waiting room at Manchester Airport, and the fact that only she seemed to be aware of them. The little fluffbundles couldn't even charm a few crumbs from a man with a danish.

I've found that Nature often provides little encounters with beauty that seem to be there just for you.

It's often like that - a glance up at the sky last weekend showed me and my children a beautiful rainbow effect in high altitude ice crystals. No-one else ever looks up in cities, I've noticed that on quite a few walks around Manchester with the Loiterers' Resistance Movement - we've been looking at interesting things about Manchester's skyline and the occult significance of twiddly little bits of architecture and had people giving us odd looks for daring to raise our eyes above street level. I think my children and I were the only people to appreciate that little moment of beauty. (The picture's from beloblog, by the way - not mine. Google images is brilliant!)

Later that morning, we saw a rainbow effect on the floor as low sunlight hit the edge of a glass shop door and spilled all its component colours out on the pavement in front of us in an otherwide dull and dreary alleyway. No-one else appeared to have noticed. It was an "Oh wow" moment just for us. I thought someone else must have seen it, given the number of people who habitually shuffle along, gaze locked on the floor about three feet in front of them. However, it was just a narrow band of coloured light only a few feet away from the invisible busker. (Neil Gaiman is right, by the way - it is dangerous to notice such people, and often only those who live on the Edges themselves do so.) That little ray of light provided us with both an impromptu science lesson and another bright moment of beauty on a cold and windy day.

Lost in Dance

2008-10-17T12:53:00.005+01:00

I have taken the plunge.

I'm about to do something that I've been psyching myself up for for the last year or two - pretty much since my first Hafla.

I'm doing my first ever solo bellydance performance next month at our class' Performance Platform.

I haven't yet decided on my music, but it's likely to be Persephone, Queen of the Underworld by Unto Ashes or something by Maduro - or even have a stab at Evil Night Together by Jill Tracy (as done by the eminently fabulous Tempest. I want to do something a bit darker & more Gothic than is usually chosen by the folks in my classes. I do a fab routine to a Nine Inch Nails track (Closer), but that might have some of the older members of the audience reaching for their smelling salts - it's so very different to the Egyptian poppy stuff we dance to in class!

I've been inspired by a recent Tribal workshop I did with Chris Ogden in Leeds (where I finally got to meet one of my Faceboook/Myspace friends, Nerissa/Yorkshire Rose). I also want to prepare for the Bellydance Weekend I'm going on next Spring, where I'll be expected to perform, so getting some prior experience would be useful!

All of my MySpace and Facebook dancer friends, as well as the ladies from my class have been immensely supportive and encouraging, so I'm going to do it.

More details coming soon.

Getting Creative

2008-08-16T17:20:00.009+01:00

I had a busy day getting creative the other day.

It all started back in April when I started work at a place with a dead strict dress code - like elbows are sexy or something. Basically, I have to have sleeves to elbow length or longer at work so I'd had this bright idea of buying a load of cheap, basic long-sleeved white T-shirts and tie dying them in different colours so I'd have loads of tops that'd go with practically any skirt I owned and would be ok for work. It worked brilliantly, and saved me a lot of money - it's really really hard to find tops that are sneeus/tzeniut (modest) enough for work - even if they've got long sleeves, many styles have low necks - plus I hate blouses and shirts with collars and fussy bows, and that means most of the things in the shops that would otherwise be ok for work. Everything seems to be so damn fussy at the moment with bows and frills and stuff.

My tie-dyed T-shirts were a big hit with colleagues and kids. Such a big hit in fact, that after exams and things were over at the end of the summer term, we had a tie dye day where the class I'd been working with all brought in an old T-shirt, pillowcase or other item of their choice (anything except their dad's Shabbos shirt, the kids were told!). The kids had great fun, did something creative and messy and got something out of it that they could take home and use.

My daughter wanted to have a go too - she wanted a tie-dye T-shirt of her own. So, once she'd decided what colours she wanted - she wanted a T-shirt in her house colour (red) for PE and a purple one. She wanted a pattern of concentric circles on the front of the red one, and a star inside a circle on the purple one.

I can do tie-dye circles and stripes - vertical, horizontal and diagonal, and combinations of these no problem. I can't do stars. So, I dug out my Easy Batik kit and painted a star pattern on the purple one. Followed the instructions, but it didn't come out. Maybe I didn't leave it to dry long enough. So, after it was dry, I had a think, and decided to have a go at fabric painting. I'd never done this before, so wasn't sure how it would turn out, but I wanted to give my Phoebe the T-shirt she wanted. It worked really well. It needed several coats of white on the purple background, but the blue spiral inside the star was fab, and I highlighted the spiral with darker blue and silver. Once it was dry, I fixed it by ironing (honestly, that's the first time in months that iron's been used!)

I did a few things for myself while I had the dyes out - I did a vest, a T-shirt and another jumper I'll be able to wear for work, plus a pair of knickers that I'd not realised were in the washing machine when I rinsed out the first two items (purple and red) They came out partly tinged in light pink and red, so I tie dyed a couple of circles and dunked them in the deep pink dye bath. they do look rather cool.

I've now got to work out a design for my beloved - he wants the Tree of Life. Nothing simple. So I'm working on the design for that at the moment

Watch this space for photos of the finished things.

A Grand Pagan Day Out

2008-07-20T15:29:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I was at Pagancon in Preston. I got a lift there with my friend Linda. Also travelling with us was Chris, another friend of Linda who was doing a stall at Pagancon, selling handcrafted wands and staves.

Pagancon is a fabulous Pagan day out with brilliant stalls, talks and workshops. For the full rundown and review, you can have a look at The Radcliffe Moot blog.

It was really good to catch up with old friends, I hadn't seen Ken and Sandy for a few years. It was good to see Thorskegga and Sandra - I only ever seem to see them at Pagancon . Thorskegga does Heathenfest as well, but that's down in Peterborough and it's too far to travel.

I came home with some lovely things - fabulous pink hairfalls which I bought from the Shared Earth stall, a lovely belt and purse from Roo the Leathercarver, a beautiful moonstone pendant and the tarot deck I've been searching for for years. Clive Barrett who designed the Norse Tarot was there at the conference selling pewter god and goddess statues and jewellery, and he had one last copy of the Norse Tarot left - no book or box, but I don't think I really need those. I got Seán a present, too - a couple of second hand books from Ken and Sandy's stall, including Gifts of Unknown Things by Lyall Watson. I also treated myself to a wand, made by Chris from wood (I think it's pine) collected on Midsummer Night at a lovely valley in northern Sweden.

I could have spent three times as much if I'd had the money, it was really difficult to limit myself. I would have loved a bigger leather pouch - one big enough to put purse, phone and keys in. That'd be dead handy for work and shopping in summer when you don't want to take a coat, and the only reason for taking one is so you've got pockets to put those things in. I'm not a fan of handbags: they're either too small and you can't get all your stuff in them, which means you need a rucksack as well; or they're big enough but very heavy so you're unbalanced carrying it around, which leads to back problems.

They do lovely food for us at the rugby club, too. they have a fab breakfast menu of cholesterol butties - bacon, sos and egg barms. Then for lunch, they do chips and baked potatoes with a choice of accompaniments - tuna mayo, veg chilli, mushroom stroganoff or cheese. And the bar has some really good beers too.

I only did one workshop this year - Linda's shamanic journeying which was way too short because other things had overrun and hadn't left very much time before the main speaker was due to start her talk. It was still good. I hadn't expected to be able to get that deep into a trance state in such a short time, but so I did, which meant that returning to normal consciousness took longer too. Fortunately, there was leftover food on the buffet which was very helpful for grounding. Mmmm, cold chips and sausage rolls!

I'm already looking forward to next year, which is provisionally booked for 4th July 2009. I'll have to work harder at saving up, as next year's Pagancon will be before my birthday, so I won't have any birthday money to spend!

All those bare bottoms!

2008-06-21T13:23:00.005+01:00

Manchester's Naked Bike Ride took place on 13th June and, by all accounts, went very well indeed.

My beloved rode with them for the second time, and I went along to watch. I would have joined in, but I had to mind the kids and I'm not that confident on my bike yet anyway. Besides, it helped to have someone who wasn't riding who would be able to take photos.

The ride caused quite a stir, with lots of excited and embarrassed giggling from bystanders as the cyclists passed - with only the occasional "Ugh they're naked and there's kids about. That's disgusting!" I noted that that kind of comment mainly seemed to come from young men out with girlfriends, including one Asian lad with his arm round his non-Asian girlfriend. One Asian family I passed in the wake of the ride up Market Street weren't reacting like that at all. They were all grinning hugely, laughing at mum who was wiping tears of laughter on her headscarf.

I got some fab photos of the event, sadly not of the laughing family: I felt I'd be intruding on them if I whipped out my camera and started snapping. All my pics of the event are here.

Here's a couple to be going on with.

If you watched Granada news that night, you'd have seen Seán doing his warm-up exercises before the ride while Meg, the organiser, was interviewed. The vid for that is still on the ITV local news website - search for local news (Greater Manchester) and sort by most recent as WNBR is way down the rear end (har har) of the alphabetical listing. Seán and I were also interviewed (along with Meg, other participants and spectators) by independent filmmakers G7UK - go watch the video here.

I'm looking forward to joining in next year!

The Big Day

2008-06-10T14:29:00.010+01:00

A very important event occurred on Saturday 7th June.

My beloved, Seán (The Dionysian) and I, who have been together for 10 years or so, finally got round to getting married.

We had a legal ceremony at the local Registry Office, followed by a Pagan Handfasting in Burrs Country Park with a party afterwards at the Brown Cow.

We had a lovely day, starting off with me, my daughter and my best pal (and maid of honour) all going to House of Raja to put on our sarees. They'd offered to help us get ready as they wanted us to look our best in the sarees we'd bought from them, and we did indeed look fabulous. I'll be posting photos soon on Flickr, MySpace and Facebook, so keep an eye out.

The Civil Ceremony was elegant and simple, and didn't take long at all, the next couple were hovering outside having photos taken as we were being shooed out the door! I heard from the registrar that I was the third bride in a sari that day!

We then had a few hours to get something to eat before heading out again to Burrs to set up the gazebo as a chuppah/canopy for the Handfasting and sort out the room we'd booked at the Brown Cow.

We'd decided previously that our celebrant, my bridesmaids and I would wait at the canpoy, and Seán would lead the procession of guests from the carpark to the location we'd chosen for the ceremony - in a quiet spot near the river. We heard the approaching music - we had our friend Laurette playing fiddle to lead the guests in. It was lovely, a beautiful ceremony with vows we'd written and appropriate poems we'd chosen - and rings that I'd designed. See earlier post - I'm a Designer for details.

The party afterwards was brilliant, if a bit hot until a key had been found to open up the windows. The food everyone brought was great and the cake was just perfect.

I'd like to say a few special thank yous to various people

Firstly to Michelle (Screechowl) our celebrant and friend for conducting the ceremony
To Cath, for being my best friend, maid of honour and the one who started it all off by introducing me to Seán all those years ago
Next, to Morag Rose (The Mysterious LRM) with love and sparkles for a gorgeous pink and glittery cake
Then to Womble (Womble's Rants) for being our most excellent photographer
And to Daniel (The Astral Pilgrim) for being Seán's brilliant Best Man
And to Reena and the ladies of House of Raja (Fletcher Street, Bolton) for making sure we looked amazing
And to Trev, Cath's boyfriend, for driving us all to Bolton and back to the Registry Office. We got there before the groom!
And to Anne Rowson (RA Designer Jewellery in Manchester's Craft Village) for bringing my vision to life in the most perfect wedding rings
And Laurette for leading the procession so well with the Captain Pugwash theme tune!
And finally, to all our guests, family and friends who were there to share our special day, and those who weren't able to join us but sent us their best wishes.

Thank you all, you made our day!

World Naked Bike Ride 2008

2008-06-10T13:03:00.002+01:00

Yes, it's that time of year again!

Manchester's Naked Ride will take place on Friday 13th June at around 6pm, setting off from the Basement Cafe on Lever Street. Anyone who wishes to join in or to show support will be more than welcome - particularly if you can do bodypainting! My beloved will be there, taking part again.

I don't take part myself yet, as I'm not that confident a cyclist - it's been years since I rode a bike and I haven't had much time to practice since I bought a cheap second hand one earlier this year - more on that later. Besides, someone has to mind the kids.

I'm all for it, though, for the same reasons as my beloved - his blog on the subject is here.
Firstly, it's a protest against the dominance of the car and the destruction by oil pollution of our planet's fragile ecosystems. It also highlights in a very clear way just how vulnerable cyclists are on our roads. One guy last year had "Not Invisible Now!" painted on his back. That's not to say all cyclists are sensible folks who abide by the Highway Code - we know that's not true because they are human beings and therefore just as flawed as anyone else, including car drivers.

Secondly, it's about body-positivity, celebrating the incredible diversity in shapes sizes and colours that we human beings come in. The perfect body is a myth promoted by advertisers to sell us stuff. They have to keep us insecure about our bodies (along with everything else) in order to keep us buying stuff. And they keep on finding new things to make us insecure about, as if that weren't bad enough.

Body-positivity is about acceptance of yourself and others just as they are. It's about silencing the inner critic. Of course, some people have louder and bitchier inner critics than others. That's why WNBR is Bare as You Dare - nudity is NOT compulsory, it's all down to your own comfort level. Have fun, get painted, decorate yourself and your bike in colourful ribbons and stuff. There are few things that shut up the inner critic more quickly than laughter and having fun.

So, to my friend who's reluctant to do it because she's put on a stone - I won't embarrass you by naming you - what the hell! Do it anyway! It's not a beauty contest and you look gorgeous anyway. You don't have be completely bare, but go. Have fun, and when you see the size and shape of other participants, maybe you'll feel encouraged enough to go for it anyway.

Puerile Humour

2008-05-28T13:55:00.004+01:00

This is dreadfully scghoolboy-ish, but I couldn't resist. I thought the video was just so funny.

I love it when politicians are wrong-footed, and disrupting a political rally with a flying willy was brilliant. Shame it's Russian and not poor old Gordon that this happened to.

I was trying to post the actual vid, but it doesn't want to and I haven't got time to fart about working out how.

So, here's a link to The Flying Willy

And thanks to Spikey for blogging this first, or I wouldn't have known about it!

Musings on the Teachers' Strike

2008-04-28T20:51:00.005+01:00

There was a lot of fuss in the media last week about school closures due to the teachers' strike. Apparently, up to a third of schools were closed or partially closed last Thursday.

The school I worked at wasn't. Nor was my children's school. Nor was the school just down the road. I know of a few schools in the area that were closed, including Prestwich Arts College, and the school I'm just about to start work at - but they were on holiday already for Passover that week. Hardly a meltdown.

I do support the principle the teachers were striking for. In part. Though what's so great about the Housing Ladder that everyone's so darn keen to get on it anyway? An article in the newspaper today was all about the thousands of people who are likely to end up losing their homes due to the credit crunch. I'm bloody glad we stuck with renting. Like lots of other council tenants, we investigated the possibility of buying, but decided against it due to the unpredictability of our household income and the likelihood of a crash in house prices and the bursting of the credit bubble. Heck, if I could see this coming five or more years ago, why has it come as such a shock to the banks?

What I disagreed with when it comes to the teachers' complaints was that they're having trouble paying their bills and find it hard to make ends meet. Perhaps those who are so badly affected should consider downsizing? I'd consider myself exceptionally well off If I earned £20K - roughly what the lowest paid teacher earns at the moment. If they think they're hard done by, they should try and manage on a Teaching Assistant's income. Allowing for the fact that my current post is part-time, my earnings are roughly a quarter of what the lowest paid teacher earns in a year. At that rate of pay, if I worked full time, I'd still earn no more than half of what a teacher is paid.

I'm not saying the pay should be the same - teachers have to be extremely well-qualified. I didn't have to go to University to do my job. I did go to University, but to train for a profession I ended up leaving (again because of poor pay and conditions). However, Teaching Assistants (especially Levels 2 and upwards) have to be well-qualified and experienced - it requires at least a year at college to train. I did the Level 3 qualification (equivalent to 3 A-Levels), spending 2 years at college as a mature student to qualify. Teaching Assistants are skilled and qualified child care workers. We know rather more about Child Development, observing and assessing than the average teacher, for instance. Our role exists in partnership with the teacher. Our different skills and expertise should complement one another.

I think everyone who works in child care and education would agree that pay and conditions in this field are appalling. The work we do is undervalued to a deplorable extent. The fact that employers (both private and public sector) know that we do this work because it's worthwhile, fulfilling and rewarding on so many other levels seems to mean they think it doesn't have to be rewarding on a financial level, as those who are "called" to this line of work will do it anyway. This is why it is a Vocation.

The problem of inadequate pay has become endemic in society. The people who form the backbone of society - its nurses, teachers, nursery nurses, shop assistants, cleaners, factory workers, waste disposal people etc (the people who actually DO useful stuff) are paid peanuts. No-one gets a living wage. Everyone's pay has to be toppped up with benefits, tax-credits, handouts. I wonder why. Who benefits? Am I totally cynical? If it weren't in someone's vested interest, successive governments would have done somethig about this instead of jiggling around the benefits systems and changing the rules every two years on who can get what to make it look like they're "challenging poverty" and "taking affirmative action" or whatever the vote-winning buzzwords are.

Who benefits by keeping society in debt? Who benefits by keeping the real workers of this nation in poverty? Who's rich enough to pull the strings of politicians? Who makes sure that real change never happens?

The big companies, the big banks and financial institutions and the few people who run them. Profits maight take a dip, but no-one's actually going to make a loss here are they? I have lost whatever faith I had in the ability of policians to do anything about poverty, whether that be on a local or a global scale. It's not in their interests. Who owns your MP, I wonder.

No More Sword Dance?

2008-04-20T12:52:00.002+01:00

This is the email I wrote to Jonathan Batt regarding how the Sword Ban in the UK is affecting bellydancers (and other folk dancers)

Dear Mr Batt

I'm writing to express my concern about the sword ban in the UK. I understand from one of my fellow bellydancers that although martial arts groups and historical re-enactors are exempted from the ban, folk-dance (including bellydancers) are not.

There is a small group of us at my local bellydance class who are interested in learning this traditional dance form. I know there are many others throughout the country in a similar position, as well as those who currently practice this form of dance. If we cannot purchase practice swords, we cannot learn this form of dance. How can current practitioners continue to perform if their sword needs replacing? How does the ban affect traditional Scottish sabre dancers, for instance?

Please can traditional folk dance forms using swords/sabres etc be exempted from the ban along with martial artists and re-enactors. It would be a tragedy if traditional cultural dance forms were to be lost due to this ban.

Yours sincerely

Sara Smith

This is his reply:

Dear Ms Smith

Thank you for your recent email regarding the ban on swords with a curved blade of over 50 centimetres and the effect of this on belly dancing.

The Government has now banned the sale, hire, manufacture and import ofsamurai swords, through a ban on all swords with a curved blade of 50cm or over in length, due to their use in violent crime. The ban came into force on 6 April 2008 having received Parliamentary approval following debates in the Commons and the Lords which unanimously supported the ban. It isimportant to note that legislation already exists that bans the possessionof these weapons in a public place, and that it will be permissible for those who already own swords which fit the definition to retain ownership.

As you may be aware the ban follows on from a Government consultation paper published on 5 March 2007 which detailed proposals to ban samurai swords andgave a 12-week window for people to let us have their views. The closing date for the consultation was 28 May 2007. In terms of the ban going too wide in picking up all curved swords, the Government thinks this is proportionate in order to ensure that we have a definition that is enforceable and which has a real impact in terms of reducing the availability of items that have and can be used in violent crime.

The proposed ban is about protecting people and communities and it is important to have a definition that minimises the need for subjective interpretation. In banning such swords, the Government has sought to safeguard legitimate use by including defences in the Offensive Weapons Order for collectors of genuine Japanese swords, for those who partake in historical re-enactmentsand for swords used by martial arts enthusiasts. Regarding adding extra defencesfor groups such as belly dancers who consider their legitimate use of curved swords has been unfairly targeted by the definition, there is a risk that by creating too many defences it makes any ban unenforceable by police, customs and the courts. However, we will, of course, listen to and consider representations from such groups. Please find the link below to the summary of responses paper and subsequent Order laid before Parliament.

http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/documents/cons-2007-ban-offensive-weapons/
http://www.opsi.gov.uk/si/si2008/pdf/uksi_20080973_en.pdf

We do not propose, at present, to add any other articles to the Offensive Weapons Order, although policy on offensive weapons is constantly kept under review.

Regards

Jonathan Batt
Public Order and Offensives Weapons section
Public Order Unit
020 7035 1807

My goodness! I don't need a lupine sense of smell - you can get a whiff of that bullshit from two miles off at least! Surely a straight blade is just as deadly a weapon as a curved one. What about a curved blade of 47 cm? Can the public even be trusted with knives at all? Why not ban metal cutlery and have us use wooden spoons. Oh, no, but that would make blunt instruments available to the general public for any amount of nefarious purposes. Wtf?

What kind of impact is this ban actually going to have on the amount of violent crime involving edged weapons anyway? Probably very little. Criminals will just have to obtain them illegally, just like they do with firearms. It might make them a little harder and more expensive to get hold of, but the criminals will still find ways of obtaining weapons. All it does is restrict the freedoms of ordinary law-abiding people still further.

Some Good News - Coffee is Good for You!!!

2008-04-03T15:45:00.006+01:00

Well, well, who'd have thought it.

According to the BBC's news website yesterday, (here's a link http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7326839.stm) recent research indicates that a cup of coffee a day may help to protect the brain from the harmful effects of cholesterol. Warning to the caffeine addicts out there - yes, you know who you are (mentioning no names *Emrys*), you who can't motivate yourselves to get off your bottoms till you've had your 3rd cup of the day - this isn't an excuse to go nuts to stop yourself going nutty. Read it - it says ONE cup a day!

"Caffeine appears to block several of the disruptive effects of cholesterol that make the blood-brain barrier leaky," said Dr Jonathan Geiger, who led the study. "High levels of cholesterol are a risk factor for Alzheimer's disease, perhaps by compromising the protective nature of the blood brain barrier. Caffeine is a safe and readily available drug and its ability to stabilise the blood brain barrier means it could have an important part to play in therapies against neurological disorders."

A spokesman for the Alzheimer's Disease Society said that the study shed "important light" on why previous research had showed benefits for drinking coffee.
"This is the best evidence yet that caffeine equivalent to one cup of coffee a day can help protect the brain against cholesterol. In addition to its effect on the vascular system, elevated cholesterol levels also cause problems with the blood brain barrier. This barrier, which protects the brain from toxins and infections, is less efficient prior to brain damage caused by Alzheimer's disease or strokes."
She called for more research into whether the same effect could be seen in humans.

Well, if one cup a day will help me keep a hold of my marbles, (assuming I still know where they are!) all I can say to that is "Damn, what a shame" ;-)

Fat

2008-02-29T19:37:00.005Z

I want to post a link to Joy Nash's You Tube video "A Fat Rant", since I can't post the actual vid here.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=yUTJQIBI1oA

Joy has a really good point to make about the way overweight people are regarded.

I saw it on Sister Decadence's MySpace blog and had to add a comment
This is an amended and expanded version of what I said there:

Joy is SO right. She might be technically overweight. but she's bloody gorgeous.

My doctor keeps telling me I need to lose weight. I think he's daft. I weigh between 158 and 162lb depending on the time of the month. I eat well, I exercise regularly (bellydancing is extremely good exercise for women and I walk a lot as well) and I look and feel fine if not fantastic.

I do find it depressing though that I (not a hugely overweight woman) find it hard to find clothes that fit and look good. I wear a size 14-16 (that's UK sizes. I think that's 10-12 in US sizes - correct me if I'm wrong, please!), sometimes an 18 depending on fit and style, but I'm finding that the young-and-trendy shops are increasinlgy not stocking above a size 14, and their size 14 is too tight on me. Conversely, I'm also finding that the shops catering for curvy (normal sized) women start at 16-18, but their sizes are too generous on me, especially in the bust.

One of Joy's YouTube commenters, seanpuckett said that normal curvy women weren't enough of a market to make it worthwhile for manufacturers to make clothes in bigger sizes - "the profit ratio for such large sizes is small. the amount of manufacturing it would take, the additional shipments, the extra assembly line workers would drive prices up,now poor people cant afford it..unfair?" I'm sorry, but I have to disagree. The amount of manufacturing, extra assembly line workers? Bullshit!

A lot of manufacturers seem to be gravitating towards the superskinny hollywood starlet size end of the market. Admittedly, the starlets have thousands of pounds to blow on one frock, but they're a tiny tiny market for exclusive designers. For normal manufacturers, the people who fall into the superskinny category - the size zeros - are very much in the minority among the population in general. The majority of us are not superskinny - that's why we're called "average sized" - for those having trouble with the concept, "average" is a mathematical term which indicates the group "most" people fit into. To spell it out - the majority of the population are I believe (in the UK) in the size 14-18 range - that's a lot of people who don't have thousands at our disposal for a one off party frock, but we do have our regular paychecks - which might enable us to spend a hundred a month on clothes at most. Question is, why are we being fobbed off with stuff that doesn't fit well and doesn't look good just because we're not skinny and can't or won't spend money on designer gear? This is potentially a real moneyspinner for the store that cracks the size issue and yet we're being ignored.

Size zero is not healthy, not attractive and not the way most women are meant to be.

As an aside - my beloved reading over my shoulder passed comment on the amount "regular" women spend on clothes in a month. He thought a hundred to a couple of hundred a month excessive so I rephrased it to a hundred a month tops, which is pretty much the most I would spend on clothes for myself in any one month - not every month, because I can't afford to spend any more than that, I certainly couldn't afford to spend a hundred every month on clothes - not even half that. I pointed out that if I had a full-time well paying job, I'd probably spend more. He told me that'd really piss him off if I wasted money on clothes for myself when there were more important things. Fair enough, but if I had a full-time well-paying job, I'd consider that those more important things would be already taken care of.

I wondered if is this a bloke thing? Is it a lack of understanding of what clothes actually cost? That a hundred quid in one month isn't actually going to buy very much - when you consider that one item eg a skirt or a pair of pants would cost £30 possibly more depending on where you shop. You could spend less, but you'd know it'd be poorly made by some underpaid overworked sweatshop labourer and would
a) not fit properly
b) not look all that good
c) fall apart/shrink/fade/all of the above after not very long at all.
Is it a lack of appreciation of the need for variety in a woman's wardrobe. Most blokes seem to think (mine certainly does) that more than one coat is an unecessary indulgence without realising that for a bloke, you're wearing pants all the time - you have a coat and it looks good with pants. Women wear a range of different outfits, skirts and dresses of varying lengths, pants, casual, formal clothes, clothes for particular seasons and climates - and one single style of coat is not suitable for every type of outfit.

I wondered if it was the effect of having worn a uniform for work every day for the last few years? Maybe you forget that when you have to wear your own clothes for work and you work in a job where things get damaged, stained, splashed etc you wear things out more quickly than if you had a uniform provided - and these things have to be replaced out of your own pocket. And maybe it's a lack of appreciation of the snidiness of other women, our colleagues who mutter "has she only got one skirt - she wore that last week". It's the spending model we grew up with too - we learn a lot from our mum's spending habits and I've not been set the best example. I feel down quite often for no reason than envy - I envy my friends who earn more than me and can spend money on new stuff just because they saw it and wanted it and bought it without having to worry about the bills. I wish I could do that too.

There are advantages and disadvantages to everything and although I don't have money I have time. Maybe one day I'll have both. I'll drink to that! Cheers!

I'm a designer!

2008-02-20T17:37:00.006Z

During the holiday, I decided to trawl the internet for wedding ring designs, in hopes that Sean and I would find something we both like.

It was a partially successful search. We didn't even bother with "normal" shops - and a look at most "custom wedding ring" specialists left me rather disappointed. What a lot of very boring designs! Plain bands (mostly in gold or titanium or even stainless steel) sometimes with a narrow band of contrasting metal and sometimes with a single dimaond embedded somewhere. Dull dull dull. I'm sorry if this is your idea of a classy wedding ring, but it's definitely not mine.

Then, I found a lovely website based in the US - Jewelry by Da'oud at http://www.jewelrybydaoud.com/. If you like the unusual, this is hot stuff. Very organic designs inspired by nature - vine leaves, ivy, oak leaves, waves. All good stuff. Then we hit the downside. Apart from having to convert ring sizes from UK to US, they only accept credit cards, and they don't do Paypal. Bummer. Anyway, the designs they featured were lovely, but not quite what I had in mind.

So, taking that inspiration and running with it, skipping and turning cartwheels too, I designed my own that features both the grapevine and corn - both symbols of fruitfulness and abundance that honour our favourite deities, too.

We're off to Manchester this weekend to get our fingers measured and to see if we can find anything else to inspire us. I don't think we'll find anything as perfect for us as this, so we'll try and see if we can find a jeweller who can turn my design into the most perfect handfasting rings we could wish for. Please note that this is my own design, all rights reserved.

My lovely new job!

2008-02-18T19:35:00.003Z

Yay!

This is what I wanted to blog about last time.

I've just started my second week as a supply Special Support Assistant at a primary school which is conveniently close to home. I love it. I'm working with a child in Year 6 who is so lovely and so positive in his outlook despite being aware that he's not working at the same level as the rest of his class, and despite the frustrations his difficulties are causing him.

I'll probably be working with him until July when he leaves to move up to High School.
The school itself has been very supportive of me - they know it's my first post since I qualified last summer and all the staff and the other children in the class have been immensely welcoming.

It's a shame it's only 15 hours a week, just in the mornings, as I could happily work there all day!
Oh well. Maybe another school will offer me some more hours. I hope so, as 15 a week is just below the Tax Credits threshold, which is going to cause us problems unless either I or Sean can find something to make up the shortfall.

Huh, Parents!

2008-02-12T14:45:00.003Z

I was going to do a lovely little blog about my new job (yes I have work now!) and how brilliant it is - and about how weird it is that you can go months with bugger all and then get three offers and an interview all within a week.

However, I don't feel remotely like blogging about my lovely new job.

I'm going to blog about my family instead. Specifically my dad.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. But he absolutely infuriates me at times and last night was I think the most offended I've ever been with him.

Yesterday, they'd dropped our kids off after a day out because both Seán and I were working that day. I was still out when they arrived. Seán got a phone call literally a second before they walked through the door - a lady enquiring about the moot that we run. She was apparently so enthused to be talking to a fellow Pagan (and fellow Pagan parent) - someone who had half a chance of relating to her - that Seán didn't so much as get chance to draw breath let alone apologise for cutting her short and saying "sorry this is a bad time, please can you ring back in a little while". When my parents walked in, they had no idea who was on the phone. For all they knew it could have been a family emergency. They'd have been able to guess within a few minutes that it was an enquiry about the moot, though. My parents left in high dudgeon, insulted at being neglected before he could end the call.

Seán, aware that he'd neglected them because of the phone call immediately sent an email apologising for this and explaining what had happened. My dad's response was to send a very offensive, pompous and high-handed email accusing us of putting the moot before our kids and being less than attentive to them generally.

We sent him a reply telling him how offended we were at him flinging Seán's apology back in our faces with such insulting remarks. As we both felt slightly differently, we wrote our own responses. Maybe we should have left it as I've done so often before.

Something like this happens regularly every couple of years or so. Last time we got let down at the last minute when they'd agreed to babysit and then backed out. I was the one who had to apologise to my mum becuase we'd been let down. Apparently we should have known it would cause them problems. Why say yes when I asked though? Wouldn't it have been simpler to say "sorry, we can't do that" when I asked rather than worry about it and then at the last minute back out.

I just feel like it's always me backing down and swallowing my pride and apologising. I have a bellyful of bile from all the times I've swallowed my pride for the sake of keeping the peace. If I didn't they'd lose contact with their grandchildren, which wouldn't be fair on either side.

Who made the first move when they threatened to throw me out and I ended up moving in with Seán? Yeah, me. This was after they'd snooped through my room, read private mail - a letter from an ex - put two and two together and got seven. My dad ruined my weekend by ringing me on Sunday night demanding I go home and "explain my lifestyle". They immediately assumed the worst - that I was still sleeping with this ex and was letting him deal drugs out of my tent at re-enactment events. They didn't have faith in my ability as an adult to deal with it and behave ethically. I was in my mid twenties when this happened, an age when, all things considered, even if I had had two boyfriends at the same time, one of whom smoked dope - it's really none of their business as long as it's not under their roof.

Despite what he'd said when I got dragged back home after Uni because "they weren't supporting me as a doley scumbag in Manchester while I looked for a job" that they'd respect the decisions I made, they understood I was an adult and they'd respect my privacy, it was very soon back to "Where d'you think you're going? What time d'you call this? You're going out looking like that?" It seemed like they were only able to pay lip-service to the idea that I'm an adult in my own right. Ten years after the big bust up when I moved out, it seems they're still trying to tell me how I should be living.

I ran out of time before finishing what I was intending to say, and since then, my dad has apologised for upsetting me.

That must have taken a lot, and I'm grateful for it.

However, part of me is sure that the same thing will happen again in a couple of years because they seem to forget that they don't have any business telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing.

I get the strong impression that my beliefs are a sticking point. I don't understand what the problem is, because it's something that is never ever spoken of. How can I clear up any misperception they may have if they change the subject and clearly are very keen not to talk about it. In this instance, I feel that it's my mum who has the problem with me being a Pagan. But there's this feeling I get that it's something she's so uncomfortable with she won't talk about it and so whatever misperception she may have isn't going to go away. I wonder what it is they think we do that's so dreadful.

I don't mind advice. I don't mind constructive criticism. What I object to is the patronising and pompous attitude which unfortunately comes so naturally to my dad. It just rubs people up the wrong way and last week I flew right off the handle because it was once too often.

Anyway. What's done is done, and so we move on.

Crochet as an act of Rebellion?

2008-01-18T18:10:00.000Z

I'm learning a new skill! I've wanted to learn how do do practical stuff like knitting and crochet for a while now, but until recently I never had time to have a go.

While I'm job-hunting ("hah!" in the voice of Edna Krabappel) I've got time to learn new skills. I've never been terribly practical - I find learning hands-on skills takes me a long time. I tried a creative garment construction course some years back and was incredibly envious of the ladies who produced skirts and blouses seemingly effortlessly. I could design stuff ok, but making garments up was a different story. By the end of the course I still hadn't finished my first garment. Anyway, my mum can knit. My mum-in-law can knit and crochet. I wanted to be able to make stuff myself.

My beloved is teaching me how to do crochet. He's way better than me at anything practical. I did find a strange thing when I had a go - I can't get the hang of manipulating hook and thread left-handed. I am thoroughly lefty in everything but this it seems. Manipulating hook and thread right-handed was so much easier, but I can't do anything else right-handed without the most enormous difficulty.

So far, I can do single chains and I did a circle. I want to be able to make "granny squares" that you can stitch together into blankets/cushion covers etc, I want to make hats, scarves and flowers to decorate things with. Most of all, though, I want to make jumpers like Mrs Weasley's. I don't even know for sure if it's knitted in a lace stitch or crocheted. I'm planning on learning to knit at some point as well, just in case!

It's a hobby that you can take anywhere - on the bus, while waiting for your appointment at the doctor's, in boring meetings, while on set waiting to be called, halfway up a mountain (you never know when you might need an extra scarf!). And best of all, you're making something real and tangible that you can keep, or give away. Is there anything more gratifying than giving an unflattering sweater to an obnoxious and insolent teenage relative?

It's just so good to have useful skills and not be dependent on stores for everything. As I've said before, I'm not happy about the conditions so many people live and work in to produce cheap clothes etc that are imported for us to buy in our high street stores and supermarkets. I might not be able to make a huge difference, but I'll do what I can in protest.

Making your own things used to be a matter of pride. According to Alan Titchmarsh's autobiography, when he was young the only one of his family to ever have a bought coat was his dad. His mum made coats for the rest of the family. All those skills fell out of fashion and have been lost. Knitting and crochet have been in and out of fashion regularly so those skills are still there, but who could make their own coats these days? Stores have people over a barrel (suppliers as well as customers) because so many skills have been lost. Learning a craft and making your own is an act of rebellion. It's declaring independence, if only partially, from the Walmart empire.

What we need is Slack!!!

2008-01-11T19:47:00.000Z

Who really likes their job?

I read two friend update things when I signed into MySpace today.
One said she "isn't sure why she's at work today" the other said "is at work" and mood was "sad"

It made me wonder how many of us really like our jobs and can get up full of beans and motivation even on a freezing cold January morning and not think "Oh crap, is it only Wednesday? I don't wanna get up. I don't wanna go to work"? I really hated my last job. Even on a lovely sunny spring morning it was still a chore to get up, get dressed in "work-acceptable" clothing and drive three quarters of an hour to work. I hated being there. I hated having to smile and be nice with the customers even when they were rude, surly, obnoxious, inconsiderate and abusive to me. I hated the long hours and the lack of holidays. We in the UK get the least amount of leisure in Europe (whatever happened to the three extra bank holidays we were promised by our elected representatives?). We're also the most spied-upon population in Europe - on a par with the USA and the old Soviet Republic. (How's that for losing the thread?)

On the subject of work and free time, I've just read a fascinating article by Rob Black on the Abolition of Work. He believes human beings in today's work-oriented society are little better than slaves and what we need to be fulfilled as individuals is play. The concept of "leisure" is insufficient - a paltry amount of time off to recover from work, to get ready for work, to travel to and from work, worry about work and try to forget about work. He reckons that a truly civilised and enlightened society should be aiming for full unemployment. This would allow each individual the freedom to explore their creativity and true talents: to do what they enjoy - but not all the time to the exclusion of all else which is what happens to the most fortunate of us at the moment. Everyone would be able to realise their True Will. Go look at his essay here http://www.whywork.org/rethinking/whywork/abolition.html it's really interesting!

I've been reading bits of my other half's e-books about work and the consumer society and wonder, how the hell did we get so screwed up. What happened to us to make us think we have to work in some boring unfulfilling job to make money so we can buy stuff? When did having stuff become the number one life goal instead of being happy and fulfilled?

If having stuff really made us happy and fulfilled why are so many rich buggers so unhappy? Why are shopaholics so miserable? There are plenty of preachers out there who reckon it's because we're not religious enough and it's all the fault of single mothers, delinquent kids from broken homes, sex and violence on TV and people not going to Church/Mosque/Temple enough.

Spirituality is one part of the picture for sure, but not the only thing. There are folks aplenty I'm sure who do go to Church and who have lots of stuff who are still deeply unhappy with their lives.

According to a review of John Bowe's book "Nobodies: Modern American Slave Labour and the Dark Side of the Global Economy" in the Texas Observer, (by all means check it out for yourself here http://www.texasobserver.org/article.php?aid=2654. It makes for disturbing reading and is a much needed wake-up call to all us overfed wage-slaves in the West) our consumer culture is ruining the lives of millions of people, particularly illegal immigrants and workers in poorer countries who work for little money in appalling conditions to provide the "stuff" that we're told we should have to be happy and fulfilled.

What we need is responsibility not what Bowe calls "plausible deniability." Instead of being apathetic (a don't know, don't care - it's not my problem attitude) about where our "stuff" comes from and how it's produced, we need to think about it and ask ourselves "Am I ok with this?" If you're concerned, instead of sitting back and thinking "well, I'm just one person, what can I do?" try networking - there are plenty of people who are thinking exactly the same. Find ethical producers or at least stop using the unethical ones (Walmart are one of the worst offenders), write to your elected representatives. The more people who make a stand and say they're not prepared to be responsible for the suffering of others, the more notice they'll have to take.

Think about downsizing - think about what "stuff" you really need and what you'd like to do if you weren't working a 70 hour week in a job you really don't like to have "stuff"

It's not easy. It won't be quick. Hell, I'm just as guilty as everyone else of ignoring the problem and shopping where it's most convenient instead of where it's most ethical.

But if society changed and ethical consumption became easy and convenient, we'd all be doing it. And that is part of the problem. The big corporations would be screwed if everyone went ethical. It would lead to massive haemorrhaging of profits, the economy would go into free-fall, millions would lose their jobs, there would be a complete breakdown of society.

Is that necessarily a bad thing, though? What is the purpose of society? Whom does it serve? Lets see. It provides systems and structures to organise communities and regulate people and their activities. It serves the big corporations whose profits come from rampant careless consumerism. It creates boxes to put people in and systems to keep them in their allotted places - selling dreams to keep people desirous of more and more stuff. Creating benefits and overpayment repayment systems to ensure that no matter how much your pay goes up, you are never actually any better off. You have to be an exceptional person to overleap your level in the social strata - and there are always famous faces - entrepreneurs who "made it big" with one brilliant idea for a new innovation. Lotteries, talent shows and the "celebrities" who achieved it to keep people dreaming that it could happen. Orwell's dystopian vision "1984" had lotteries in which the big prizes were never won by real people, but there were always plenty of small prizes so everyone knew someone who'd won a bit. Just like in real life - who knows anyone who's ever won more than a couple of hundred, two or three thousand tops?

Would it really be such a bad thing if something so limiting, uncaring and unjust as today's society got broken so bad we had to start over? A whole new society like Rob Black describes: a ludic culture. Maybe not to such extremes - after all, someone's got to keep the trains running - but a society that respects everyone's right to be themselves and allows us time to be ourselves just as hard as we can be.

How to get there from here?

Love and slack,
Lily the Pink

I'm a Reject!!!

2008-01-09T18:45:00.000Z

I logged onto Yahoo earlier to check out my messages after I'd uploaded some pics onto Flickr and the first thing in my inbox was a message from Google Adsense telling me that they were "unable to accept me into Google Adsense at this time"

The reason given is because of "adult content" - This, apparently constitutes - and I quote:

"text or images that contain sexual, lewd or provocative content, and sites that require users to be at least 18, or that may not be safe for work."

I believe the rejection was probably caused by the top-free equality post, which was the most recent at the time I submitted my application to host Google Adsense on my blog. That's the most lewd or provocative thing that I've posted so far, with the lovely cute little Cretan Snake Goddess cartoon.

Now, what was it I was saying about nudity = sex?

Point proven, I believe!

A Happy Half Hour - Creativity and Inspiration

2008-01-05T17:22:00.000Z

If anyone's expecting a politcal rant or intelligent discussion after my last post - Ha!

No, I just wanted to talk about a really fun half hour or so I had the other morning before the kids were up.

I'd set up my blog (yes, this one) the day before but couldn't find a picture I liked, so I got up early to have a look for arty and interesting things on Google Image Search. I wanted something that would represent
a) my habit of wandering away into off-topic areas when in the middle of a sensible discussion
b) a devotion to one of my favourite Goddesses - Ariadne the Bold and the Beautiful who dumped/got dumped by Theseus on Naxos (the stories are a bit vague on what exactly happened between them there) and ended up becoming the consort of Dionysos (who I also rather like). I am working on an article/story but I want to get it straight in my head first before I go publishing anything.

I tried different keywords and looked through page after page but couldn't find a picture I liked. I searched under thread, wool, twine, Ariadne, labyrinth, skein, yarn but nothing jumped out and said "this the one!"

Then I got some Divine inspiration. Heck, why mess about trying to find a picture someone else created and then worry about getting sued for copyright violation when I can make it at home for free. All I need is my camera, a ball of string, a black sheet for a backdrop, some simple image manipulation software - oh and a small aubergine (kidding).

I had a brilliant time messing about with different lighting, angles, depth of field etc and then playing with my favourite images on the pooter changing hues, contrast, and brightness till I'd got some images I really liked. You can see the rest of the ones I was most pleased with on Flickr (just follow the link to my photos). The one I liked best of all (well, duh!) is the one at the top of this page.

I really enjoyed the creative process and all the work that went into it.
It's amazing what you can do with half an hour to yourself to concentrate, and a bit of inspiration - thanks!

Topfree Equality

2008-01-03T17:21:00.000Z

I'd like to quote an article published on one of my favourite websites which sums up a lot of what I believe more eloquently than I can express at present. Feel free to check out the rest of the site at your leisure - just click on the Top Free Equal Rights link under Sites Worth Seeing. The original article is by Sanna Ferm and Frida Hellroth of the Bara Bröst Nätverket (the translation given by TERA is "Merely Breasts Network". I'm afraid my Swedish is too rusty to tell if that's accurate) and was written in protest at women not being permitted to swim topfree in public pools in Sweden.

"If the Equal Opportunity Ombudsperson had declined a case about a woman not being employed because of "prevailing norms" that say women get more parental leave, should that be accepted? Until the 1970s it was legal for men to rape their wives, quite in accord with "prevailing norms." Merely because discrimination has always existed is no reason not to fight against it!

Women's breasts are more sexualized than men's in today's society. The reason for swimming topfree is to desexualize and demystify women's breasts. At public swimming pools there is no reason for breasts to be sexualized, even if there are other circumstances where they may well be.

We are far from that situation today. Now breasts are considered only in sexual contexts whereas they are forbidden in all other contexts. Why is it okay to have bare breasts on the front pages of men's magazines but not in a swimming pool?

It isn't valid to claim that this is about women's breasts being bigger than men's. That varies with the individual, and there are many men who have significantly larger breasts than many women. Nor may it be claimed that women's breasts are more sensitive than men's, because that too is an individual matter.

Others claim that bare women's breasts in a swimming pool would increase sexual crimes. So it's claimed both that men can't control their sexuality and that women must cover up and take responsibility for men's supposed hypersexuality. These arguments are frightening and recall the claim that women in "provocative" clothing must blame themselves if they are assaulted.

No, that is simply not a sensible explanation why men and women should be treated differently. There are discriminatory norms that prevail in society. These norms for how men and women must look and act are problematic for both men and women."

The sexualisation of the female body, especially the breasts, is something I find disturbing. Mainly because what we're talking about here is the objectification of the female body, which goes back to some very outdated ideas about women. It's regarding us not as people but as property and no matter how far we think we've come if we can't have equal treatment in terms of what we can and can't choose to display of our own selves, we're still not being treated fully as people. Why shouldn't I go topless when it's hot in summer (covered in sunblock, though) if I want to without it being considered a sexual invitation? Why shouldn't anyone be able to go top-free if they choose? Why are we so uptight about nudity?

Let me tell you a story. Last summer there was a worldwide cycling event, with participants in major cities all over the world. The aim of the event was to protest against the oil-driven ecomony and society's dependence on the car - and to highlight the vulnerability of cyclists on busy roads. The event I'm talking about is the World Naked Bike Ride. A fun event which my beloved took part in. I couldn't join in last year due to the lack of a bike and well, someone's got to mind the kids. (Incidentally, as far as I know, the only city where the cyclists were told to cover up because of people complaining was Paris!) I told my friends at college about it and they were horrified.

"They were naked?" Yes
"At tea time?" Yes
"In the centre of Manchester?" Yes
"Where anyone could see them?" Yes
"What? They should be arrested! That's indecent exposure! Me and my kids were in Manchester that day, we shouldn't have to see stuff like that! You let your husband do that? Is he some kind of pervert?"

Woah, slow down here. The instant assumption was that there was some kind of sexual gratification going on, that "naked" equals "sex". And, despite the fact that they could have been exposed to unsolicited nudity, they didn't see any naked cyclists and had no idea the event was even taking place until I told them. I was surprised at their response, but I shouldn't have been. They're devout Muslims and were brought up in an extremely repressive culture. They had obviously never considered that many people just don't like wearing clothes, or that nudity can be used to make a political statement, or simply to promote equality. Everyone's equal without clothing - no labels, no brands, nothing to mark which social strata you belong to. The trouble is, that the majority of people seem to think that nudity always equals sex.

There are complaints about women who breastfeed in public. Why? That's what the things are for after all. My boobs belong to me, not my boyfriend: they're not intended to be sex-toys. Why is it ok to show women's boobs on the front pages of mens magazines on the top shelves in a newsagents, but not in the flesh in the shopping centre that the newsagent's shop is in? Why should it be ok to have top-free sculptures in parks and public spaces if it's not ok to walk round top free in our parks and public spaces.

There were plenty of complaints in the papers last year about men going top free on hot days - mainly complaining about saggy beer-bellies and man-boobs or men with pasty white skin and ribs showing thorough. Fair enough, but not everyone is built to the standards of a Bernini sculpture. Human beings come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes and shades. Not everyone finds the same things aesthetically pleasing anyway. If it's ok for a good-looking bloke to go top-free, it should be ok for any man. And if it's ok for any man, it should be ok for everyone. Either it should be ok for everyone or not ok for anyone. Lets have some consistency here.

Sadly, I think the spoilsports in charge want to make it not ok for anyone to reveal flesh. At the risk of offending people, I'd have to say NO! to the the folks who'd have us all wearing burkhas to avoid giving offence by showing unnecessary flesh. Breasts have only become sexualised because it's been a cultural imperative for so damn long to keep them hidden. Lets desexualise the body by showing it off! We're all made in God's image according to the Bible (if you believe in it) - so what's so dreadful about his handiwork that we've got to keep it covered?

Who's for going Cretan?

(Image posted with kind permission of Robin Ator - r8r's photos on flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/r8r/75384073/). If you like this, please check out his other pics. His artwork is amazing)

Nude people smile more - spread some happiness!

Well (slightly breathless trill) Isn't this nice?

2008-01-02T19:50:00.000Z

Hello, Welcome to my blog.

I'm not sure yet how public or otherwise this is going to be. Or how intellectual or otherwise.

I don't have anything in particular I want to ramble on about just now (good job as I've only got ten minutes till I've got to go do something less interesting instead). However, I figured if I waited till I had something pressing to say, by the time I'd got my blog set up with pretty pictures and the right fonts and some links to cool things, I'd have forgotten most of what was on my mind.

I'll mostly be talking about Pagan things, stuff that's happened, weird little synchronicitous things, random musings and whatever I'm inspired to write about at the time.

For those who don't know me, I'm a Pagan, I have a family, I'm trying to earn enough money to keep my family going without sacrificing my true self by doing something unfulfilling just because it offers security and regular pay. I'm exploring my interests in Heathen Paganism and in a couple of Classical deities who've tapped me on the metaphysical shoulder just recently. More on all this later, but right now I'm signing off.

May your God(ess) go with you

Love,
Lily